How can I form an opinion of a race of human beings whose fundamental ideas I can never understand? Let me quote an example by way of explanation. Last Monday my "boy" altered the figures of a bill I usually give him to pay from $11.00 to $14.00. Seeing that all my belongings have been stolen with the exception of bare necessities, this is the only method of robbing me still open to him, for his latest scheme of changing my good dollars that I lay upon my dressing-table at night, for brass ones has been detected.

Having proved the forgery against him, I lost my temper. I admit my fault but r am only human, so I kicked him downstairs.

Presently I began to repent; I felt that I had been unfair-a bully-so finally, feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself, I rang the bell.

My boy entered reluctantly and fearfully, but on my presenting him with a dollar, with the idea of purchasing one shilling and ninepence worth of self-respect, his expression changed from sullen hate to rapture as he smilingly took the money and departed. Five minutes having elapsed, I heard a timid knock at the door, which opened about an inch to admit the tip of an apprehensive nose, followed by the remainder of what does duty for the face of our house- coolie.

"What do you want? " I enquired with irritation.

Advancing on tip-toe with an air of great mystery, he approached my chair, and bending down in exactly the opposite position to that usually assumed by one person in bowing to another, he remarked over his shoulder; "Sup- pose you wanchee kick some more alle same, master, you pay my ninety cents can do!"

It is highly diverting, from an Eastern view- point, to read complaints from home upon the servant question; let me assure you, you do not know what trouble in this respect really means.

One hears employers here openly confess that it is useless trying to prevent servants from stealing, and that one must "allow" a certain amount for "squeeze."

This is equivalent to saying, "I am not to be worried about the Chinese servant; he is going to rob me-very wdl, I give in, I am tired "-and is one of the symptoms of Maskeeitis, which disease is explained later on in this letter.

All my beautiful socks that mother knitted at home have vanished, my shirts have dis- appeared, I am underpantless, singletless, and collarless, and now that there is nothing more to steal I am boyless.

"Allow" quotha! I didn't allow anything. I never had an opportunity. I was looked upon as a useful source of suly, and woke up one morning to discover that I had been inveigled into playing a game I didn't understand. as a result of which I had been huffed.

My boy is now in search of another griffin, but I have hopes-he is very deaf-that the trams may yet avenge me.

It is useless taking him to the police. They are, for one thing, too busy catching dogs at ten dollars apiece, 'and for another they must have clear proof.

I showed the inspector my chest of drawers (which are the on]y kind of drawers I have left), which he had to confess were clear enough, but didn't constitute proof. So, with tears of mortification, I pulled up my trousers and showed him I had only the top part of one sock attached to my boot-tops. I opened my waistcoat and convinced him I had only a dicky underneath, and a pair of detachable cuffs stuck in my coat-sleeves with paste. The only thing he could do for me, however, was to advise me to sleep in my trousers and coat and thus be sure of these, at least if the worst happened.

How is it that the police do not receive instructions to issue licences to boys, giving their father's name and address, or that of a guarantor, such card to be endorsed by employers, I put down amongst the enormous number of things I do not know owing to my extreme griffinity. A heavy penalty could be imposed upon any one found "faking" these passes. The pass system works well in Rhodesia, where it has been in use for years.v This would, of course, be only the first step, so much I realize; but every one here decries any effort that fails to land one at the end of the journey before one starts, and when this preposterous method of attainment is found to be impracticable (except by the Chinese, who contrive to do everything in this manner), the usual comment is " Maskee."

"Maskee," let me explain, is Huangpoonese for "never mind," and its continual use pro- duces an effect upon the foreigner similar to that attained by the Chinese as a result of the opium habit. It is called Maskeeitis.

Another affliction from which we suffer is the washman, who charges by the piece, irrespective of tbe description of garment. Consequently, if he tears your shirt into four pieces you pay for four and lose three other things, thus striking a balance. He also hires your clothes out to natives by arrangement with your boy, and his methods of washing are peculiar, as instance his mode of procedure in washing socks, which he does by putting four or five pairs on his feet at one time and going for a walk in the creek.

There is one phase of the Chinese character, however, which is becoming more noticeable every day. This is their insistent demand for reform. It is as unmistakable as it is inspiring in the grandeur and boldness of its scope. One sees its unwearying, splendid persistence in the Imperial decrees. During the past few years decrees have been issued from the throne destroying and prohibiting everything in China that is abused and made a vehicle for illicit commissions, injustice, oppression, or " squeeze," the latter term being the local equivalent for extortion.

All these decrees end with the injunction "Let all tremble and obey." Whether any one trembles I am unaware, but it is obvious that no one obeys. Obedience is impossible, because if every institution that has been converted into a means of extortion were abolished there would be no institutions remaining.

The method of reform which at present prevails would appear to be as follows: There exist official censors whose duty it is to report any irregularities by memorial to the throne. Presuming these censors do their duty, there must be presented about eleven thousand memorials per diem. As comparatively few reach the throne, however, we can only assume that even censors are willing to " listen to reason."

These impeachments, or memorials, are handed from the throne to certain "boards," such as the Board of Finance, Board of Agri- culture, Board of Communications, Board of Civil Appointments, Board of Uncivil Dig- appointments, Board of Rites, Board of Wrongs, &c., for investigation and report.

The use of the term "board" in this sense is delightfully apt nomenclature, where the subject is so inanimate and characteristically wooden.

These boards, presumably after a few months or years, send up recommendations in reply by means of another memorial. This memorial con- taining the recommendation then probab]y has to await its turn.

What happens next-if anything-no one appears to know, but, judging by results, after the lapse of say fifteen or twenty years the memorial is brought up for perusal "in due course," as they say at our War Office. In glancing through its faded pages the powers that bc-officially referred to as US-may ascertain that one Tsu Bing Bung has been unmasked as an unmitigated scoundrel, and the sole cause of all the trouble. Tsu Bing Hung is sent fon Tremble and obey. The messenger subsequently returns to the presence and informs it that Tsu Ring Bung died eight years ago, and that his present address can be only vaguely hinted at by his intimate friends who knew the kind of life he led.

This flagrant breach of etiquette annoys US immensely, and the Board of Posthumous Punish- ments is ordered to investigate and report. After the lapse of a few years the B. of P.P makes its report, recommending that the son be sent for and totally destroyed. Officialdom being now thoroughly roused, this memorial is rushed through in three years, the recommendation noted and approved and runners despatched, but the son doesn't tremble and obey, because he is the proprietor of a large laundry in Liverpool, and is living on the premises.

US is now in a quandary, and can't think who the Confucius to refer the damthing to next. Whilst US scratches the imperial head, however, the President of the Board of Imperial Audience Arrangers announces the Deputy-Assistant-Pro- bationary-Vicc-President of the Board of In- animation, who enters backwards on hands and knees. He has another memorial held daintily in his mouth, which, when he has spat it out, is discovered to contain bitter complaints of the same abuse in the same quarter.

The course for US to pursue is now obvious. US hands the new memorial to same board as before for investigation and report. Interval. Receipt of memorial containing recommendations precisely simflar to the previous one, with the exception that this time it is Wu Kung Mow that is the offender. Filed. Interval. Wu Xung Mow succumbs to senile decay. Interval. Wu is sent for (t. and o.), and so the reforma- tion proceeds, slowly, I must admit, but pro- ceed it does-which is distinct advance in a country where everything else proceeds back- wards.

personally, however, I am not one of those who scream for China's reformation-yet; and my reason for saying this is that sixty Years after she actually did reform, abolish likin (the tax on merchandise moving inland, which is enforced every few miles) and official corrup- tion, and spread education-not, of course, the old type of education at present in vogue-she would be in a position to wipe the floor with any other four nations combined. personally, I would infinitely prefer death to being ruled by a Chinaman.

Fortunately for the human race there is a natural law which prevents any people attaining a world-mastery until such nation has achieved a very high state of mental development. Num bers alone will not suffice. China is not yet qualified, but when she is-as indeed she will be some day-she should rule the world. Inas- much, however, as development of intellect is universal, we have cause to hope that by the time China is in a position to rule, that natural flower of intellect, universal peace, will be a feasibility, if not the obvious necessity that it is rapidly proving itself to be.

Any intelligent person who has seen the muti- lated corpse of a soldier whose income was one shilling and threepence per diem before he gave his life for a cause the merits of which he had no opportunity to study, will feel the impossibility of continuity for any such horrible contravention of the axiom of the survival of the fittest. And the capacity for heroism com- bined with physical perfection is valued at present at one shilling and threepence a day in an age of money worship!

So the death-rattle of a "Tommy" is inaudible amongst the noisy congratulations showered upon the successful, businesslike army contractor.

Even so we all have our faults in the depart- ment of officialdom; but China is undoubtedly reforming, and if we do not reform China, China will reform us within a measurable space of time. Again, if China reforms herself, and we develop along the lines of commercialism only, what a terrible price we shall have to pay for our lesson!

I am surprised at your expressing a doubt that our local mosquitoes can think; the fact is obvious to any observer. Their fiendish ingenuity is well exemplified by an incident that occurred last Tuesday. I had taken a lady in to dinner at a certain house here and was doing my poor best to entertain her. My efforts, I was pleased to observe, were meeting with some measure of success, when suddenly she gave a violent jump and a little gasp. Fearing she was ill, I anxiously inquired whether I could be of any assistance.

"I am afraid you cannot," she replied hastily, "it's a (ah-oooo, there it goes again) mosquito."

"Allow me," I insisted; "I am a crack shot -hardly ever miss.

"This one is-ugh-out of range," she replied, with an impatience that was justified by my denseness.

With admirable presence of mind she then engaged the attention of the guests in her vicinity by relating a cycling adventure, and accompanied the recital with dramatic action, her imitation of a cyclist at full speed being particularly realistic.

Mosquitoes will have to get up very early in the morning to get the best of her.

Please go to Crook's in Regent Street and send the biggest box of roses you can get to Gladys at Roehampton, in the name of your affectionate son,

JIM. PS.-Will pay you next time I see you.

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