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Chapter 11
In Which the Baby Has a Brief Glimpse of the Far Eastern 0lympics ... Economical Phases of the Dinner Dance...The Battle of the Sukiaki House...The Mosquito Massage as an Indoor Sport.
JUNE first-Nice morning. Sat on floor upstairs and watched coolie put up netting to keep mosquitoes from getting away from bed. Papa came home from Hongkew Park and said he hadn't seen so many kimonos outdoors since big hotel burned down in America.
"Was the track meet any good?" asked mama.
"Yes," answered papa, "but I know a ricsha coolie that could beat any of them. The only trouble, is that they wouldn't let him enter his ricsha and he wouldn't know how to run
without it."
Mama said track-meet might be pretty good, but that she could see a better one by standing at corner of Nanking and Szechuen Roads and watching people cross street at noon-time.
June second - Not much doing today. Went to Hongkew Park, but Sikh policeman said perambulator and its chauffeur would have to stay outside grounds. Heard noise inside like orphan asylum calling for bottle. Must have been chorus of Jap babies.
June third-Nice day. Lady who is house-hunting called at tiffin and mama asked her if she had found any place.
"Yes," said lady. "We have the choice of sharing an attic room with two poodles or renting apartment for summer, provided we take over furniture and husband."
Mama told papa that family landlord had called and asked for two hundred taels a month, but papa said to tell him that he was no Rudyard Kipling and couldn't think up that many.
June fourth - Rain. Auntie excited about man who had invited her to party at Carlton.
"His friends are very prominent," said Auntie, trying yellow georgette against sunburn.
"So are his ears," said papa, looking up from pink sheet. Auntie didn't say anything then, but remarked later that the only trouble with dancing at Carlton was that nobody kept in step because they were all busy trying to see who everybody else was with.
June sixth - Not much doing today. Boy busy putting mothballs in pockets of papa's winter suits and taking out change. Nothing left but coppers, as mama had been there first. Papa said at tiffin that moth-balls might keep moths away from clothes, but they also keep everybody else away after suits were resurrected in the fall. Also that for weeks afterwards, he found himself giving moth-balls for fare in tram. Hope they don't put my wooden elephant in moth-balls, as may cut more teeth during summer.
June sixth - later - Mama told papa that family had invitation to dinner dance for end of the week. Papa said dinner dance was great economy, as boy always put down soup or other course just before music began and then took it away during dance, before anybody had chance to damage it. Mama told him he shouldn't try to sit out, as every time he did it, it meant that lady had to sit out too, but papa replied that he was going to step on all ladies' toes early in evening so that they would be glad to let him eat dinner.
June seventh - Nice day. Went for ride to Hongkew Park and saw Jap baby in front of sukiyaki house kept by Jap papa. Pointed at Jap baby with chin like houseboy and then
made face. Baby squalled and Jap papa came out of next-door shop where he was having shoes half-soled by carpenter. Wiped Jap baby's nose with Japanese poem on towel. Didn't
see me, as amah had sighted another Chinese lady who didn't know story of foreign lady's new third husband and had put perambulator in high.
June eighth - Weather still good. Mama asked Auntie if she had good time at cafe last night in new dress that tailor had copied from window on Nanking Road. Auntie said she would have had better time if seven other ladies had not also copied dress, but that anyway she had enjoyed seeing
next door girl sit out dances and had also noticed five ladies dancing with their own husbands. Papa said maybe next door girl had something wrong with foot, but Auntie remarked that it was probably because she is pigeon-toed in features.
June ninth - Weather pretty good. Mama told papa that, if he doesn't screen lower part of house pretty soon, she will have to eat dinner with feet in pillow-case. "If you would
only eat dinner with your head in a pillow-case, I'd have more quiet in which to enjoy food," papa said. Mama remarked that when he enjoyed food, nobody else had any quiet, didn't hear more as amah came in just then to give me bath with laundry soap.
June tenth - Nice day. Auntie very excited. Said Bertie had almost proposed to her at Carlton, but was interrupted by having to go across room to see friend.
"He has a regular path worn around the Carlton from getting up to see friends when the Chinese boy brings in the arithmetic," said papa.
Auntie said papa didn't seem to know that Bertie was valuable office man and that he is an expert on the touch system.
"I'll say he is," said papa, "He touched me for ten dollars once and it's still absent."
Mama said she loved romance and asked Auntie what Bertie had
said. "He told me that he would cling to me as long as a ricsha coolie does to a straw hat." said Auntie clasping hands and looking at fly on ceiling. Papa said that if Auntie wanted to be certain, she would make Bertie promise to cling to her as long as he does to five dollar bill.
June eleventh - Rain. Sat on floor while papa dug dark clothes out of trunk and said things as he threw moth-balls from pockets. Was put in crib later for nap and watched massage amah look through wardrobe while mama's face was under hot towel. Later had interesting time downstairs as coolie beat carpets with papa's golf-clubs. Might borrow
golf club some day to try on Jap baby. Hope Jap papa won't object.
June twelfth - Rain. Family sat in parlor during morning, after papa said he didn't want to go out, as was afraid of growing fins.
"The only time you ever went to church without being driven was when we were married," said mama.
"Yes, and look what happened to me then," papa answered.
Squalled then on account of having sat on price tag with stickers, which Auntie had thrown on floor, so mama called amah to give me chow.
June twelfth - later - Sat with family again in parlor after nap. Auntie busy with snapshots taken on houseboat trip, pasting them in album. Said she didn't know whether or not
to put in one of girls wading, as her features didn't show up very good.
"Don't worry about that," said papa, picking up snapshot. "Nobody will waste any time looking at your features."
Auntie told papa that she never did take a very good picture in the sunlight.
"The only way you could ever take a good picture would be to go into the Louvre and walk off with Mona Lisa or something," papa said.
No answer from Auntie, who was busy pasting in view of men and girls who had changed hats.
June thirteenth - More rain. Went out for little while in afternoon when shower stopped but didn't have very good time, as amah stopped perambulator with back wheels on street and rest on sidewalk while she had long talk with Chinese lady. Wonder if she thinks my neck is made out of India rubber. Tried to tell mama when I came back, but mama said. "Yes, darling. Daddy will be home pretty soon." Family as dense as crowd at Far Eastern Olympic.
June fourteenth - Family excited because of red spots on my face. Mama said I was getting measles. Nobody seemed to notice that Auntie had looped back mosquito net on crib with
ribbon so as to make room look better when girl friends called. Squalled last night, but family didn't tumble. Jiggled wooden elephant in front of me to keep me quiet. Wonder what will happen tonight.
June fifteenth - All rest of family have same kind of measles. Papa asked Auntie what she was lighting when
he came home from office.
It's punk," said auntie, lighting another stick.
"I'll tell the world it is," said papa, sniffing air. "Why don't you put it out?"
Auntie said purpose was to knock out mosquitoes under table and papa remarked that if it burned very long, mosquitoes under table would have to move over and make room for him.
"For the next few months, all Shanghai girls will walk like a fly wiping its feet after stepping on mucilage," papa said. "Any body who wants to make himself popular ought to get up a dance with that stop in it."
Mama said custom of withdrawing after dinner at parties was very convenient in summer, as it gave ladies chance to massage bites.
unless otherwise indicated
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