Sulking as I was recently, I have not been idle, believe me. For a start, I have been going for walks in the park, something I don't usually do. I took the advice of my dear father, and have been spending an hour or so walking backwards round Zhongshan Park each day. Walking backwards? The ancient Chinese theory is that after all the walking forwards that we do in our lives, walking backwards once in a while helps to restore a sense of balance. Sounds whacky? Don't turn up your nose at this -- try it!! My advice -- take along an attractive friend of the opposite sex, or whichever sex you find attractive, and have them walk behind, or in front, of you, as you reverse perambulate. It does wonders for the scenery!!!

There's a new Italian restaurant in town, called AD's. The location is adventurous -- in the wilds of Gubei on Hongmei Lu quite close to the Hongqiao Lu intersection. I went there with a special friend and we had a tete-a-tete dinner near the enormous fireplace at the end. The fireplace is the open mouth of a huge bearded male face which dominates the entire restaurant. Every so often one of the attendants comes along and performs dental surgery on the fire, which reminded me of what a very sensual experience it is being probed by a dentist. I don't know about you girls, but a visit to the dentist, if you're in the right mood and he fails to find any serious tooth decay, is far more ... moving than one of those examinations by a doctor. Doesn't make sense, does it? But there you are. Anyway, the food at AD's is excellent -- I had the mushroom soup and a fish steak of some kind, rounded out by an Italian cheesecake and coffee, and was completely satisfied gastronomically, if aroused in other ways. Swings and roundabouts, balance be damned.

We later -- much later -- went on to a nightspot on Yanan Xi Lu which I have started frequenting late at night called (how original!!!) -- Rick's Cafe. It has become the place many entertainment people from other establishments go when they knock off work, so there's lots of action there by about 2 a.m. The dance floor is small and crowded, which is how I like my discos these days. Enough of the caverns!! It's just not fun unless it's cramped and sweaty.

Speaking of which, I have been twice now to the 99 Disco on Anyuan Lu and Xikang Lu. What an extraordinary monument to disco culture. A couple of Saturday nights ago, I was there with one of my beaux and another couple, and the four of us were the only customers in the place by 12.30. This is supposed to be the largest disco in Asia, an entirely believable claim. There may be larger enclosed spaces in the Boeing factory in Seattle and one presumes the Space Shuttle garage in Cape Canaveral must be stupendous. But there can be few places in the world to compare with this folly. I am reliably informed that the investment was around 500 million yuan, which at 8.3 to the U.S. dollar is about what Bill Gates makes while he brushes his teeth on the morning i.e. a collosal amount of money. If the young disco throngs were flocking in by the thousand, then you could justify it. But four people on a Saturday?!! They must be bleeding cash at a horrendous rate. One of the key problems -- the sound system is huge and expensive, but the sound it produces is just mush. There is no bass, and the echoes winging their way around the cavern clash and meld to make it very difficult to differentiate a Prodigy song from the Bee Gees. Well, actually, they don't play the Bee Gees (Ah! Ah Ah! Ah! Staying Alive!), but they may just as well do, no one would notice. I wish them luck. The problem is: if the 99 Disco fails to catch on, what on earth could they use this custom-built space for? A particle accelerator, perhaps???!!!

Another place to consider for a quick shake of the bootie is the Halei Bar on Jiangsu Lu near the Changning Lu intersection. This is a big joint to be sure, but the dance floor section is of a manageable size. As you can see from this advertisement, shot by my trusted photographic assistant, they are also featuring a jazz band earlier in the evening. You never know, jazz might actually gain a true foothold in this city.

The renovations of the Park Hotel on Nanjing Lu have been completed. Delicious George Gregorian, whose kisses (on the cheek! on the cheek!) smell of well-mulled cigars, is the maestro who has transformed this old queen back into a princess. The Park, for those who have forgotten, was for several decades the tallest building in Asia. It was completed (I don't have the exact dates) somewhere around 1930, and was not challenged in Asian sky-scraping terms until the mid-1950s. You should see the way he has renovated the famous 14th floor dance hall. Just splendiferous!! In the old days, the roof of this hall used to open to the stars at night. I asked him why this feature was not restored, and he said it was simple: there is now a satellite dish sitting up there. And you think that's an adequate explanation, George?? Good grief, get rid of the satellite dish!!! Also well worth visiting -- the third floor Chinese restaurant -- opulence and style encapsulated. George, as I say, is an artist, even though he bears a remarkable resemblance to Joseph Stalin. He has done all of Donald Trump's important homes and properties in New York and is begging me to allow him to re-do my abode here in Shanghai. I may just let him. But first, he has to do the Peace Hotel, once the Cathay, on the Bund. Now, this is an important work. The Peace Ballroom on the eighth floor has one of the best two dance floors in Asia -- true springy wood (the other is of course at the Garden Hotel beneath the Hindenberg light fixture). I most recently danced at the Peace about six months ago to the wonderful music of the Shanghai Big Band, organised by one of my best and most cuddly friends who has asked to remain anonymous. But back to the renovations: the first job has to be to eject the post office from the half of the lobby it has occupied for the past few decades. The second is to convince the jazz band in the bar downstairs to finally retire. Good luck, George!!!