LOVE AND MARRIAGE IN-FOCUS

"Before marrying, you must consider property and career. Marriage without money is impossible."
A recent In-Focus included an enlightening discussion on love and marriage. Our respondents, career-conscious, unmarried men and women in their twenties, revealed that they struggle between the traditional marriage concept of pure love and the importance of material status. The women tended to be more optimistic than men, believing they wouldn't have to make a choice between marrying for love and marrying for money - "we have more opportunities now - we don't have to rush into marriage - our careers and salary mean that we can take our time and wait for the ideal man to come along."
The men admitted to feeling more pressure than women, in terms of balancing material status and love, though this pressure comes from themselves, not women. However, many men felt that because of this pressure to establish a career and provide the material requirements of marriage, the woman would have to be worth it: "After all the struggling to get a career and material possessions, of course I'd have to marry someone I truly and deeply loved."
A few thought the idea of struggling together to achieve their common dreams was part of the romance, but the majority believed that the security should be there when the marriage begins.
Both sexes mentioned that they'd like a marriage where they were loved more than they loved. Women seemed to be more demanding - the definition of "a good man" was a man with good education, strong desire to make progress , potential for a successful career, who doesn't go out too much, deeply cares for her, is trustworthy, and loves her more than she loves him! Then men said their wives would have to be considerate and caring, and most importantly, deeply admire him.
The younger respondents tended to be more romantic and idealistic, speaking of the importance of the 'purity' of love. They thought love should be "true and deep with strong emotions", while the older respondents thought love should be the calm in life, after the hard slog of establishing a stable career, and saving money.


MAINSTREAM MUMS IN-FOCUS

Last month's target audience was mothers between thirty and forty with one child. When asked about their daily routine, the overwhelming response was "I'm so busy!" . A typical day involves rushing to get the child to school on time, then rushing to get themselves to work in time, rushing back from work, picking up the kids, shopping, cooking, cleaning. "Then I get up the next day and do it all again." Most mothers had a keen interest in their child's education, and tried to spend time every evening helping them with their homework.
So what about leisure time? We asked if they watch television in the evenings : "Even when I get a chance to watch TV, I'm usually doing the housework at the same time." Weekends are focused towards the children, taking them to entertainment parks, zoos, fast food restaurants - whatever the other children have been talking about at school all week. Then there's always the housework left over from the week. If she manages to get half an hour for herself, she might go out shopping "but most of the time I have to make do with window-shopping!"
What's most important in their lives? Without a doubt, their children. They don't mind giving up their own time and money, so long as their children are happy and healthy. Also, they know that their children face the same situation that they do with their peers - always comparing what products they use, where they go to play, where they eat. Throughout the discussion, peer pressure repeatedly came up: "It's difficult. I really want my child to have the correct and positive values that I was brought up with but I know they'll lose face if they don't have the same things as the other kids."
As far as hopes go, these are placed on the children as well. Regarding future career development for themselves, they aren't very optimistic. "It's so difficult when there are many young people starting work who have had the education opportunities we never had" . For the first time in their lives, they face the challenge of unemployment. Rather than pursuing further progress, they concentrate on maintaining their present status.
They are happy with increase of living standards but worried about the cost that goes with it. Choices are increasing with more products available but they are still limited by how much they can afford. "Of course this is good thing, but with more choices and increasing inflation, the balancing act gets